I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
