Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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