Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
