spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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