so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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