You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
