Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she woke up with a sticky ear
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
