Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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