Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
