I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize