so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I currently don't understand fingers.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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