My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
