He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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