belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
