Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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