Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
