so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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