Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
