Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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