Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
