So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
