i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
