There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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