at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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