Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
