Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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