I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
