I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
