if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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