Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we have officially lost it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
