Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
