and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
