What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I will be naked everywhere
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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