So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
