I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
