I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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