1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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