Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
