do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
