i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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