Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
