He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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