You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
