I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
