Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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