Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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