My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
