Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
should my penis look like a turkey
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
