i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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