We need to rekindle our bromance
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize