You're completely useless in the revolution.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
