I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
