I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
