Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
