So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
being pregnant is like rehab
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
