direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
