I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
