she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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