Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
