Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
