I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
someone threw a dead crab at me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
