it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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