you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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