I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
