so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
